Therapy in Santa Barbara · Online throughout California
Healthy Masculinity
More room to be yourself.
Begin ↓Strength with room for feeling.
You may have learned early what a man is supposed to be: capable, composed, independent. We can explore which expectations fit you and which leave too little room for tenderness, uncertainty, or asking for help. This work makes space for naming what you feel, expressing what you need, and bringing vulnerability and accountability alongside confidence and resolve.
Queer men belong in this conversation.
There is no single way to be a man—and no part of yourself you should have to hide to belong. For gay, bisexual, trans, and queer men, expectations around masculinity can bring particular pressures about who you’re allowed to be.
If you’ve felt outside the circle of men, or that belonging requires leaving something of yourself behind, there is room for you here. We can explore a masculinity that feels like yours, with space for strength, tenderness, sexuality, and the whole of who you are.
More of the conversation.
Fatherhood
The parent you hope to be, the patterns you inherited, and the relationship you are building.
Read more →Men’s Health & Sexuality
Space to speak openly about your body, desire, intimacy, and change.
Read more →Emotional Expression & Anger
Understanding what you feel, expressing what you need, and responding with care.
Read more →Friendship & Belonging
Making room for companionship, trust, and relationships where you can be known.
Read more →Intimacy & Partnership
Closeness, independence, and the conversations that matter between partners.
Read more →Purpose & Life Transitions
Finding your bearings when work, relationships, or your sense of self begins to change.
Read more →What we might explore.
You don’t have to arrive with the right language or a clear explanation of what is wrong. We can begin with a relationship, a recurring pattern, or a sense that something important has been left out.
Pressure to hold everything together
You may be relied upon at work or at home while feeling unsure where your own needs belong. We can explore the pressure to provide, perform, or remain in control, and what support could look like for you.
Anger, distance, and connection
Perhaps difficult conversations become arguments, or you withdraw when you don't know what to say. We can slow those moments down, understand what is happening, and practice expressing yourself with more clarity and care.
Identity, belonging, and inherited expectations
Culture, race, family, sexuality, gender, and life experience shape our relationships with masculinity. There is room to question expectations without dismissing the parts of your identity that matter to you. My practice welcomes cisgender and transgender men, and people of other genders who want to explore their relationship with masculinity.