Couples Therapy
Room to hear each other.
There is more to
the conversation.
Under the familiar argument, there may be something important that hasn’t yet been heard.
You may care deeply about one another and still feel caught in the same conversations. We can slow those moments down and make room for each person’s experience.
Let’s talk →Couples therapy in Santa Barbara.
Online sessions throughout California.
What brings you together?
Perhaps closeness has become harder to find, trust has been shaken, or life has changed what you need from your relationship. You don’t need to wait for a crisis.
Our conversations might include recurring conflict, differences in desire, parenting, infidelity, preparing for marriage, or considering what comes next.
How we begin
We make room for both of your experiences and start noticing the patterns between you—with curiosity and care. You don’t need to arrive with the same perspective or a perfectly formed goal.
A place for your relationship
My practice welcomes LGBTQIA+ couples, consensually nonmonogamous relationships, and kink and BDSM communities. Your relationship deserves care that respects how you understand yourselves.
Background film: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels
Couples Therapy in Santa Barbara
Finding your way back to each other.
You may care deeply about one another and still feel caught in the same conversations. Perhaps closeness has become harder to find, trust has been shaken, or life has changed what you need from your relationship.
Couples therapy offers time to slow those moments down. Together, we can make room for each person’s experience and begin finding different ways to listen, respond, and connect.
I work with couples in Santa Barbara, with online sessions available throughout California.
When connection feels difficult
You don’t need to wait for a crisis. Couples come to therapy when something feels stuck, when a change asks more of them, or when they want to care for what they already have.
Our conversations might include:
Arguments that repeat without feeling resolved
Distance, loneliness, or feeling more like roommates
Trust, infidelity, and the work of repair
Differences in desire, affection, or sexual needs
Parenting, blended families, and changing responsibilities
Preparing for marriage or considering what comes next
We’ll begin with what matters to each of you.
How I work with couples
I bring curiosity, care, and an active role in helping you understand what happens between you. We’ll look at the pattern you get caught in, the feelings beneath it, and the ways you each try to protect what matters.
Practical ways to reconnect
Drawing on the Gottman Method, we can practice listening, expressing needs, and returning to a difficult conversation with more care. We’ll also make room for friendship, appreciation, and the everyday moments that sustain a relationship.
Understanding what lies underneath
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) informs our attention to attachment, vulnerability, and emotional responsiveness. We can slow down a familiar cycle and explore what each of you needs when closeness feels uncertain.
These approaches support the work; your relationship shapes it. We’ll keep checking what feels useful and adjust the pace together.
Room for closeness, desire, and difference.
Closeness can mean different things to each partner. We can talk openly about affection, desire, sex, and the experiences that make connection easier or more difficult.
There is room for differences in libido, questions about pleasure, shame or anxiety, and the impact of betrayal. We’ll approach these conversations with attention to consent, boundaries, and each person’s pace.
My practice welcomes LGBTQIA+ couples, consensually nonmonogamous relationships, and kink and BDSM communities. Your relationship deserves care that respects how you understand yourselves.
More about relationships
These short articles offer a closer look at concerns we can explore together.
A place to begin, together.
Our first conversations give each of you room to describe what has been difficult, what you value in the relationship, and what you hope might change. You don’t need to arrive with the same perspective or a perfectly formed goal.
In our sessions
I’ll help slow down difficult exchanges so we can notice the pattern and practice a different response. Between sessions, we may agree on a small reflection or conversation to try at home.
We’ll revisit your goals as the work unfolds. Progress might mean a clearer request, a repair after conflict, or more honesty about what each of you needs. When the future of the relationship is uncertain, we can make space for that, too.
Taking the next step
If you’re considering couples therapy, you’re welcome to get in touch with questions. We can talk about what brings you here and whether working together feels like a good fit.
What to expect, rates, and payment →
Photography via Pexels: cottonbro studio · Pixabay · Anastasia Shuraeva.