Sex Therapy
❤️ Sex and Intimacy Therapy in Santa Barbara
Cultivating Connection, Pleasure, and Authentic Desire
Sexuality is a powerful and deeply human part of who we are. Yet for many people, sex and intimacy can also be sources of pain, shame, confusion, or disconnection. Therapy provides a safe and compassionate space to explore these experiences — with honesty, curiosity, and care.
I offer sex and intimacy therapy in Santa Barbara for individuals and couples seeking to deepen emotional connection, heal from sexual shame or trauma, and rediscover pleasure and embodiment. My approach integrates evidence-based methods with human warmth and respect for your unique story.
Whether you’re facing sexual challenges, desire discrepancies, or simply longing for more connection, therapy can help you move toward a fuller, more authentic experience of intimacy.
What Is Sex and Intimacy Therapy?
Sex and intimacy therapy is about far more than “fixing problems in the bedroom.” It’s a holistic process of understanding how your body, emotions, beliefs, and relationships intertwine.
We might explore:
Desire differences or mismatched libidos
Emotional or physical disconnection in long-term relationships
Impacts of stress, trauma, or anxiety on sexual desire
Communication barriers around intimacy or pleasure
Sexual shame, guilt, or fear
Navigating changes in sexuality due to aging, illness, or transition
Exploring kink, erotic authenticity, or sexual identity
Integrating spirituality, sensuality, and embodiment
Sex therapy honors your body’s wisdom. It’s about learning to listen, communicate, and connect — not performing or meeting an external standard.
My Approach to Sex Therapy
My work is grounded in Humanistic and Person-Centered Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and The Gottman Method, all integrated through a trauma-informed and sex-positive lens.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT helps partners understand the deeper emotional needs beneath their sexual dynamics. When intimacy becomes distant, or sex feels pressured or avoided, it often reflects attachment injuries or fears of rejection.
In therapy, we create a safe space to name these emotions, restore trust, and rebuild closeness from the inside out.
The Gottman Method
The Gottman framework provides practical, evidence-based tools for improving communication and emotional connection. We apply these tools to the realm of intimacy — learning how to express needs, navigate conflict, and foster affection, admiration, and playfulness.
Somatic and Mindfulness-Based Practices
Sexuality lives in the body. I often integrate gentle somatic awareness, mindfulness, and grounding techniques to help clients reconnect with their embodied selves — learning to experience pleasure, safety, and self-acceptance.
Trauma-Informed, Shame-Free Space
Many people carry wounds from past experiences — trauma, religious conditioning, or cultural shame around sexuality. In therapy, we approach these stories with compassion and without judgment. Healing doesn’t mean erasing your past; it means reclaiming your body, your voice, and your right to authentic pleasure.
For Individuals
You don’t need to be partnered to benefit from sex and intimacy therapy. Many individuals seek this work to:
Reconnect with their body and sensuality
Address anxiety or shame around sexuality
Heal from sexual trauma or violation
Explore identity, orientation, or gender expression
Understand patterns in attraction or relationships
Cultivate greater comfort and confidence in intimacy
Through reflection and guided exploration, therapy helps you develop a deeper sense of agency and joy in your sexual and relational life.
For Couples
In relationships, intimacy can ebb and flow. Stress, parenting, work demands, or unspoken resentments can all impact connection.
Couples often come to therapy when sex feels like a source of tension — or when they simply want to rediscover passion and closeness.
Together, we’ll explore both emotional and physical aspects of intimacy:
Enhancing communication about desires and boundaries
Rebuilding trust and vulnerability after distance or betrayal
Rekindling erotic energy and playfulness
Understanding patterns of pursuer/withdrawer dynamics
Integrating affection and sensuality into daily life
Using Gottman and EFT frameworks, we cultivate understanding and curiosity — helping you reconnect not just sexually, but emotionally.
Navigating Desire Differences
It’s common for partners to experience mismatched levels of desire. This doesn’t mean your relationship is broken — it means you’re human.
Therapy helps you understand what fuels or hinders desire. We explore emotional connection, stress, resentment, health, and body image — and how these influence sexual interest. Together, we find ways to foster responsiveness, flexibility, and compassion.
When desire is approached as a shared exploration rather than a performance metric, intimacy becomes more genuine and fulfilling.
Healing from Sexual Shame and Trauma
Shame is one of the most powerful barriers to sexual connection. It can take root through early experiences, cultural or religious teachings, or trauma.
A trauma-informed approach means we move gently — focusing first on safety, consent, and self-regulation.
We might use grounding techniques, mindfulness, and resourcing to support your nervous system. From that foundation, we explore stories and beliefs that have shaped your relationship to your body, your worth, and your pleasure.
Healing isn’t about “getting over” what happened; it’s about reclaiming your ability to feel safe, whole, and alive again.
Exploring Erotic Authenticity
Many clients come to therapy wanting to reconnect with their erotic selves — the parts of them that are playful, alive, curious, or creative.
We explore questions like:
What does erotic energy mean to you?
Where does desire live in your body?
What fears or stories interrupt pleasure?
What would it look like to feel fully, safely expressed?
This process can be transformative, helping you embrace sexuality as a source of vitality, not shame.
Inclusive and Affirming
My practice is inclusive of all genders, orientations, and relationship structures — including LGBTQ+, kink, and polyamorous clients. I believe everyone deserves a therapeutic space that honors their truth and their pleasure without judgment.
Sex and intimacy therapy is about integration — mind, body, emotion, and connection. It’s about coming home to yourself and finding safety in your own skin.
Ready to Begin?
If you’re seeking sex therapy in Santa Barbara, I would be honored to support you. Whether you want to rekindle desire, communicate more openly, or heal from the past, we can work together to create connection rooted in honesty, safety, and joy.
Reach out today to schedule a consultation — and begin rediscovering your fullest, most embodied self.