Couples Therapy

💞 Couples Therapy in Santa Barbara

Rebuilding Connection, Intimacy, and Emotional Safety

Love is one of the most powerful human experiences — and one of the most complex. Even the strongest couples can lose their sense of closeness under the weight of stress, miscommunication, or unmet emotional needs. Over time, what began as small moments of disconnection can grow into distance, resentment, or pain.

Couples therapy offers a safe and supportive space to slow down, understand one another, and rekindle the connection that brought you together. In my Santa Barbara practice, I help couples deepen emotional intimacy, improve communication, and create lasting patterns of trust, respect, and affection.

Why Couples Seek Therapy

Relationships are living systems. They evolve, shift, and sometimes struggle. It’s common for partners to reach a point where they feel stuck in repeating cycles of misunderstanding or withdrawal.

You might recognize some of these patterns:

Arguments that go in circles without resolution
Feeling unseen, unappreciated, or disconnected
Difficulty expressing needs or setting boundaries
Emotional or physical distance
Differences in desire, libido, or affection
Recovering from betrayal or broken trust
Balancing parenting, work, and intimacy
Wanting to rekindle closeness and romance

These challenges are not signs of failure — they’re invitations to grow together in new ways. With the right support, conflict and disconnection can become opportunities for deeper understanding and intimacy.

My Approach to Couples Therapy

My work with couples is integrative, grounded in two of the most respected and research-supported approaches: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method. Together, they help couples not only understand their conflicts, but transform the emotional patterns that create them.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, is based on the science of attachment and bonding. It helps couples move beyond surface-level arguments to explore the deeper emotional needs that drive them.

Through EFT, we work to:

Identify the repeating negative cycle between you
Understand the emotions and fears that keep that cycle alive
Express needs and vulnerabilities in new, connecting ways
Rebuild trust, responsiveness, and emotional safety

EFT is not about blame or quick fixes — it’s about helping both partners feel heard, valued, and emotionally secure. When that foundation is restored, communication and intimacy naturally strengthen.

The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, draws on over 40 years of research with thousands of couples. It provides practical tools for building a healthy, resilient partnership.

Using the Gottman framework, we will:

Strengthen friendship and fondness
Learn to manage conflict constructively
Replace defensiveness with curiosity and repair
Build shared meaning and intentional connection
Increase emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy

The Gottman tools are especially effective for couples who need structure, clear communication strategies, and concrete ways to nurture affection and teamwork.

Working with Intimacy, Sex, and Connection

A thriving relationship involves more than communication — it includes emotional, physical, and sexual connection. I specialize in helping couples navigate these deeper layers of intimacy with sensitivity and skill.

Together, we’ll explore the ways your emotional and physical intimacy influence one another. Whether you’re feeling disconnected, facing mismatched desire, or struggling with vulnerability, our work will help you:

Rebuild safety and trust in physical closeness
Explore patterns that impact sexual connection
Communicate desires and boundaries with openness
Reignite playfulness and passion
Understand how stress, trauma, or shame may affect intimacy

This is gentle, trauma-informed work — never pressured, always guided by your comfort and readiness. My role is to help you rediscover the joy and safety of intimacy that feels authentic to both of you.

A Compassionate, Trauma-Informed Lens

Every couple brings a unique history to the relationship. Sometimes, old wounds — from family, past relationships, or trauma — resurface in partnership. These can trigger fear, withdrawal, or reactivity in ways that neither partner fully understands.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I approach these moments with care and curiosity. Together, we’ll bring awareness to how your nervous systems interact — helping you regulate emotions, repair ruptures, and respond to one another with empathy rather than defense.

When couples learn to co-regulate, communication becomes calmer, and connection feels safer.

Somatic Awareness and Mindfulness in Relationship

Because emotions live in the body, somatic awareness can be a powerful part of couples work. Learning to pause, breathe, and notice what’s happening physically during conflict helps partners shift from reaction to reflection.

Mindfulness tools allow couples to:

Recognize the body’s cues before escalation
Ground themselves during hard conversations
Feel more present during intimacy
Build emotional safety through calm presence

This integration of body-based awareness with relational skill-building helps couples heal not just intellectually — but emotionally and physiologically.

What to Expect in Couples Therapy

The process begins with understanding your relationship’s story — the strengths you share, the challenges you face, and what you hope to rebuild or create together.

We’ll start by identifying your recurring conflict cycle and the needs underneath it. From there, therapy focuses on developing new patterns of communication, responsiveness, and connection.

You can expect to:

Learn to listen and respond without defensiveness
Develop new ways to express emotion safely
Rebuild trust after hurts or disconnection
Rekindle romance and affection
Create shared goals and meaning

Change happens gradually and compassionately. Many couples begin to feel hopeful after just a few sessions — noticing moments of calm, laughter, or tenderness returning.

Couples Therapy with Me

As a licensed marriage and family therapist in Santa Barbara, I bring a warm, grounded, and evidence-informed approach to couples work. My style is collaborative and compassionate, helping partners feel safe even when exploring difficult topics.

I often integrate other modalities — such as mindfulness, somatic awareness, and Animal-Assisted Therapy with my certified therapy dog Sophie — to create an environment of ease and connection.

Each couple is unique. Together, we’ll find the rhythm that fits you best, blending practical tools with emotional depth to help you reconnect and thrive.

When to Begin

Couples therapy isn’t just for crisis — it’s also for prevention and growth. Many couples come when they sense distance, want to strengthen intimacy, or are preparing for a major life change.

If you find yourselves feeling stuck, lonely, or disconnected, it may be the right time to reach out. You don’t have to navigate it alone — help is available, and healing is possible.

Ready to Reconnect?

If you’re seeking Couples Therapy in Santa Barbara, I would be honored to support you. Whether you’re rebuilding trust, rediscovering passion, or learning to communicate with greater understanding, therapy can help you grow stronger — together.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation and begin creating the relationship you both deserve.

JAMIE FORTINOctober 22, 2025

Couples Therapy

💞 Couples Therapy in Santa Barbara

Rebuilding Connection, Intimacy, and Emotional Safety

Why Couples Seek Therapy

Relationships are living systems. They evolve, shift, and sometimes struggle. It’s common for partners to reach a point where they feel stuck in repeating cycles of misunderstanding or withdrawal.

You might recognize some of these patterns:

Arguments that go in circles without resolution

Feeling unseen, unappreciated, or disconnected

Difficulty expressing needs or setting boundaries

Emotional or physical distance

Differences in desire, libido, or affection

Recovering from betrayal or broken trust

Balancing parenting, work, and intimacy

Wanting to rekindle closeness and romance

These challenges are not signs of failure — they’re invitations to grow together in new ways. With the right support, conflict and disconnection can become opportunities for deeper understanding and intimacy.

My Approach to Couples Therapy

My work with couples is integrative, grounded in two of the most respected and research-supported approaches: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method. Together, they help couples not only understand their conflicts, but transform the emotional patterns that create them.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, is based on the science of attachment and bonding. It helps couples move beyond surface-level arguments to explore the deeper emotional needs that drive them.

Through EFT, we work to:

Identify the repeating negative cycle between you

Understand the emotions and fears that keep that cycle alive

Express needs and vulnerabilities in new, connecting ways

Rebuild trust, responsiveness, and emotional safety

EFT is not about blame or quick fixes — it’s about helping both partners feel heard, valued, and emotionally secure. When that foundation is restored, communication and intimacy naturally strengthen.

The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, draws on over 40 years of research with thousands of couples. It provides practical tools for building a healthy, resilient partnership.

Using the Gottman framework, we will:

Strengthen friendship and fondness

Learn to manage conflict constructively

Replace defensiveness with curiosity and repair

Build shared meaning and intentional connection

Increase emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy

The Gottman tools are especially effective for couples who need structure, clear communication strategies, and concrete ways to nurture affection and teamwork.

Working with Intimacy, Sex, and Connection

A thriving relationship involves more than communication — it includes emotional, physical, and sexual connection. I specialize in helping couples navigate these deeper layers of intimacy with sensitivity and skill.

Together, we’ll explore the ways your emotional and physical intimacy influence one another. Whether you’re feeling disconnected, facing mismatched desire, or struggling with vulnerability, our work will help you:

Rebuild safety and trust in physical closeness

Explore patterns that impact sexual connection

Communicate desires and boundaries with openness

Reignite playfulness and passion

Understand how stress, trauma, or shame may affect intimacy

This is gentle, trauma-informed work — never pressured, always guided by your comfort and readiness. My role is to help you rediscover the joy and safety of intimacy that feels authentic to both of you.

A Compassionate, Trauma-Informed Lens

Every couple brings a unique history to the relationship. Sometimes, old wounds — from family, past relationships, or trauma — resurface in partnership. These can trigger fear, withdrawal, or reactivity in ways that neither partner fully understands.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I approach these moments with care and curiosity. Together, we’ll bring awareness to how your nervous systems interact — helping you regulate emotions, repair ruptures, and respond to one another with empathy rather than defense.

When couples learn to co-regulate, communication becomes calmer, and connection feels safer.

Somatic Awareness and Mindfulness in Relationship

Because emotions live in the body, somatic awareness can be a powerful part of couples work. Learning to pause, breathe, and notice what’s happening physically during conflict helps partners shift from reaction to reflection.

Mindfulness tools allow couples to:

Recognize the body’s cues before escalation

Ground themselves during hard conversations

Feel more present during intimacy

Build emotional safety through calm presence

This integration of body-based awareness with relational skill-building helps couples heal not just intellectually — but emotionally and physiologically.

What to Expect in Couples Therapy

The process begins with understanding your relationship’s story — the strengths you share, the challenges you face, and what you hope to rebuild or create together.

We’ll start by identifying your recurring conflict cycle and the needs underneath it. From there, therapy focuses on developing new patterns of communication, responsiveness, and connection.

You can expect to:

Learn to listen and respond without defensiveness

Develop new ways to express emotion safely

Rebuild trust after hurts or disconnection

Rekindle romance and affection

Create shared goals and meaning

Change happens gradually and compassionately. Many couples begin to feel hopeful after just a few sessions — noticing moments of calm, laughter, or tenderness returning.

Couples Therapy with Me

As a licensed marriage and family therapist in Santa Barbara, I bring a warm, grounded, and evidence-informed approach to couples work. My style is collaborative and compassionate, helping partners feel safe even when exploring difficult topics.

I often integrate other modalities — such as mindfulness, somatic awareness, and Animal-Assisted Therapy with my certified therapy dog Sophie — to create an environment of ease and connection.

Each couple is unique. Together, we’ll find the rhythm that fits you best, blending practical tools with emotional depth to help you reconnect and thrive.

When to Begin

Couples therapy isn’t just for crisis — it’s also for prevention and growth. Many couples come when they sense distance, want to strengthen intimacy, or are preparing for a major life change.

If you find yourselves feeling stuck, lonely, or disconnected, it may be the right time to reach out. You don’t have to navigate it alone — help is available, and healing is possible.

Ready to Reconnect?

If you’re seeking Couples Therapy in Santa Barbara, I would be honored to support you. Whether you’re rebuilding trust, rediscovering passion, or learning to communicate with greater understanding, therapy can help you grow stronger — together.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation and begin creating the relationship you both deserve.